hysterectomy Nov. 15

I was told in my early 20s that I would probably need a hysterectomy by the time I was 30. I'm 36 so I've had several unexpected years of grace, including 2 of our 3 living miracles born after my 30th birthday! I had dreamed of 8 kids - my womb was been touched by at least 6 or 7 (and possible other unconfirmed miscarriages) and my heart by 7 more (adoption losses), so I feel very blessed to have been allowed 3 live births when I truly questioned if we would ever even have one. Physically I cannot parent more than this right now because of my health, but my heart is still open to adoption in the future should God choose to allow us to continue growing our family through that blessing.

So amazingly, I am grieving very little over this final loss of reproductive ability and instead feel a sence of relief as God brings this chapter to a close. All I can do is praise the Lord for His overwhelming grace and peace in all of this because I know my reaction is well outside my normal human experiences. I'm in so much pain and so tired from ongoing bleeding that I'm strangly looking forward to getting it done! This peace can only be attributed to God as I can remember in the early days of our infertility journey that my mom had her hysterectomy and I was so upset over hers that I couldn't even go down and help her. I couldn't imagine ever having this kind of peace over my own need for one, but here it is and God is providing such clear assurance that He is here in the midst of this.

My one long-term prayer is that this will be effective in managing my endo for the long haul. I know several women who have had hysterectomies and still deal with endo pain. My doctor says this is rare, but I seem to prove the rare cases. We are planning to let me keep one ovary at this point so that I don't have to go on hormone replacement (Since I tolerate outside hormones so poorly!) and I am praying this will turn out to be a good decision and not one that causes ongoing endo growth. If you could pray with me specifically along these lines, I would be greatful!

R. got her cast off yesterday afternoon, Little J. is starting antibiotics today, and all three will be spending a week or so with Rick's parents while I'm in the hospital and home recovering. I'm SO thankful to have my parents here and look forward to being taken care of by my mom after surgery. :) We've ordered a predone Thanksgiving dinner (of course Mom's still plannig to do a few homemade goodies too) and will be having a quiet Thanksgiving at home with my parents.